This one has a lot less lewd stuff.

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"… and that’s how I met both my third boyfriend, and my first, and only girlfriend," said Evaline with a smile.

"Ok… look, that does give me a pretty good idea of why you weren’t concerned with me being gay, but can we just… skip to how you met dad or something? I can’t say I’ve been particularly pleased with these stories. It’s just weird,"

"Is it weird because it’s hard to imagine me with someone who isn’t your father, weird because you didn’t think I had a sex life, or weird because I’m your mother?" asked Evaline curious as to the answer.

"Well… It’s not like I really know the answer to that Mum. I mean… it just feels weird? I feel embarrassed about these facts? I think it’s because your my Mum. Obviously you had a sex life. I know way too much about it now. It also might be that it feels weird not to hear about you being with Dad… because well… I guess it feels a bit like cheating? Which is weird, because obviously this all happened before you and Dad met, so it’s not… but it still feels wrong to me somehow," said Lily, trying to put a voice to her thoughts as best she could.

Evaline rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Hmm… I suppose it’s very different for you. You’ve only had a crush on two people, and arguably, only loved one of them," Lily winced, not really believing that second fact, but wishing it were true, "so to you, the idea that I’d need to… look around a bit first is clearly quite foreign to you. Perhaps I should ignore your protest. You need to get used to this sort of thing, even if it won’t be for your relationship. You’ll need to be able to empathise when others come to complain about their situation,"

"What about Sue?" asked Lily. "I don’t constantly get embarrassed around her,"

"Yes, but you also don’t recognise her as ’looking for a relationship’. Though I’m sure she has helped you get more comfortable with the idea of sex, and what that involves," said Evaline.

Lily sighed, "Ok, maybe I do need to get more used to the idea… but can we focus on how you and Dad got together first? I’m kinda interested now. I don’t think I’ve ever asked before,"

Evaline nodded, "Right well, I already mentioned waking up after drinking too much?" Lily nodded, "Right well that really was the first time I met your father, at least, in memory. Nothing much happened after that. I was technically dating someone else at the time, but the last thing I remember before I started really drinking that night was my boyfriend of the time getting pulled into one of the guest rooms by a fat chick. Look, no shame if that’s your kink, but I wasn’t, and never planned to be, a fat chick. So, I thought, ’next time I see that bastard I’m breaking up with him,’ which I did.

"Right, so I got up, and saw your father there, and he had abs. Great dick too, but I didn’t remember that right at that moment. He looked particularly tasty, and I wasn’t completely sure if I’d slept with him or not. Could go either way truth be told. Anyway, I left a note taped to his underwear that said ’if you ever need these removed by a professional call me’"

Lily slapped a hand over her face. "Why Mum? Why?" asked Lily.

"Hey, I was young, dumb, and way too hungover to think of something that doesn’t sound like it’s from a trashy romance novel. Anyway, I broke up with my boyfriend… after walking in on a few people ’enjoying’ the morning. Took me a bit to remember the right room see. Anyway, I found him, slapped him awake and said I wasn’t interested in someone so easily swayed. He tried to say something, but I didn’t stick around to listen. He wasn’t a great lay anyway, and I wasn’t too broken up about it.

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"I WAS crying at the time, but that was because I might’ve slapped him a bit hard and ripped off my fake nails and a good bit of skin on my fingers. Still, it looked suitably dramatic for everyone else to spread the story, so I got a tonne of sympathy points I didn’t really deserve. Didn’t help me with your father though,"

Evaline waited for a few moments and Lily sighed, "Why did it not help with Dad?" asked Lily with a dead voice.

"Two out of ten for enthusiasm Lily, it’s almost like you don’t want to hear this story," said Evaline. Honestly? I’m not sure I do anymore. "So it was a week later, and I still hadn’t heard anything and I was getting a bit pent up. The last time I had sex, was a week ago, but the last time I remember having sex was like… two and a half weeks ago? Something like that. So anyway, I went out looking for a decent man.

"I walked into the nearby nightclub and low and behold, who do I find sitting on his own in the club?" Evaline paused, waiting for Lily to answer.

"Harold," said Lily with another sigh.𝐟𝘳𝐞ℯ𝚠e𝑏𝒏𝑜𝙫𝘦𝙡. c𝑜𝐦

"Exactly, Harold Furos himself," said Evaline with a grin. He was alone at a table sort of off to the side, but not quite far enough for me to think he was actually there alone. He had a glass of what I’d assumed was a margarita, but the pansy was just drinking iced tea! So I slide into the chair next to him and start chatting him up.

"Now, perhaps I should’ve waited around a bit after sleeping with him, but he didn’t really remember what I looked like, and didn’t phone me afterwards because he’d heard about this big breakup that I was involved in and thought it was his fault. Anyway, I flirt with him for a while and he’s not really picking up what I’m trying to deliver. So I just wait for him to lean forward to take a drink, and instead a pull on his tie and kiss him straight on the lips.

"He seemed so shocked, even asked why I did that. Well I was clear with him, that I’d been flirting with him for the past half hour, but he wasn’t reacting at all, treating it like a normal conversation. I said if he wasn’t interested, that was fine, but I WAS interested and I wanted to make his night a bit better.

"Anyway, we danced a bit, flirted a lot, and eventually I asked if he wanted to go back to his place. He said he didn’t know me well enough for that, and I wanted to laugh, so I handed him my number and got ready to leave. Well, turns out he did save my number, listed in down in his address book, like a pen and paper address book. Had me listed as ’mystery girl’. Then asked, ’Hang on, are you the girl I slept with last week’? And that’s when I found out he didn’t remember me. God that was a blow to the ego.

"So I said yes, yes I was. That I was angry he didn’t notice, but I did still want to jump his bones so I stormed off and told him to call me when he was free next. From there… things were a bit rocky, he eventually called me up and tried to get the full details about that breakup I had. Well, I calmly explained it to him… and I don’t want to make it seem like Harold wasn’t ok with things… but he didn’t really know if he could trust me.

"As far as he could see, I was a bit flighty and unreliable. Which was true enough I suppose. Anyway, he said there would be no more sex until he felt comfortable, or I could find someone else. I think that’s the first time I really started to see Harold as anything more than a guy I could sleep with,"

"Wait what! It took you that long!" hissed Lily.

Evaline shrugged, "I just wasn’t looking for anything serious yet. And I’m not saying I was ready to marry Harold then and there… but he was such a doormat most of the time. When I met him at the club? He was there by himself because his friends were trying to pick up girls, succeeded, and then left without telling him. Despite the fact Harold didn’t even want to be there. He was meant to drive everyone home, but it turns out his friends took taxis to a motel to fuck their dates for the night. Didn’t tell him.

"He had to find out when they met up in class later," said Evaline with a sigh. "So yeah, I thought he was a bit of a doormat. But he was firm. No relationship, if that meant jumping straight to sex. I of course pointed out that we’d already done that, but he said it didn’t matter. I thought about moving on… I really did… but there was just something about him. I couldn’t just walk away. Perhaps it was because he’d just given me a challenge… but I wanted to meet it. I was feeling competitive, so I decided to give it a shot,"

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