GOOD NEWS! (I hope) Thank you for your patience with updates. I was surprised to discover we’re closer to "The End" than I realized. So I rejigged my writing schedule this week and... you’ll now have updates every day until the end of the month, when there will be several chapters released to THE END! I’m so excited for you to finally see their happy ending! Thank you again for sticking with me for the roller coaster of this story and its releases. It means the world to me. I hope you enjoy the daily updates for the rest of the month! (Added after publication so you aren’t charged for the words.)
*****
ETAN
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They didn’t rest as many hours that day. They had to travel in daylight. From where they stood it was two hours ride through the pass to the fortress city of Anvor, its walls a barricade across the only canyon to cut between the sheer mountain cliffs of the Northern Range, which was a necessary passage—but also a predictable one.
When he and Ayleth returned from bathing, Falek and Borsche were discussing the best way forward. Should one of them enter the city and scout for possible ambushes at the gates? Or would that only give the spies more opportunity to raise alarm and set an ambush when they returned?
With only a little debate, the men decided it was safe for the four of them to enter together—the two warriors would be on guard and watching anyway. They would have a signal to split Ayleth and Etan and meet on the other side of the city should they discover pursuit. And if they’d kept ahead of their enemies they would be that much faster getting through the city and away during the night if their beasts hadn’t had to make the ride twice.
With that decision made, Ayleth and Etan curled up on a bedroll under the trees to shade their eyes from the rising sunlight. They would try to sleep for a few hours before the men would wake them to begin the trip. Ayleth fell asleep almost immediately, despite the low conversation between Falek and Borsche about who should take first watch.
Etan was relieved when Borsche gave in and let Falek take it. Sure enough, within a few minutes, Borsche was also sleeping.
Etan, curled with Ayleth at his chest, but eyes wide and fixed on Falek, waited to see what the man would do or say.
This was as alone as they could be in the coming days. If Falek didn’t begin the conversation, Etan would.
When Falek settled on a log just feet away, eyes bright and scanning the small clearing, Etan cleared his throat to make sure the man knew he was still awake.
Falek’s jaw twitched, but he didn’t speak.
Etan sighed. "Please, Falek," he whispered. "Let me make this right."
"You cannot make it right. You broke your vow."
"I did not."
Falek huffed and shook his head, his eyes never leaving their scan of the surroundings. Falek peered at the forest like a predator waiting for prey.
"I will grant you that I could have chosen differently—and I assure you that should the circumstance arise again, I will choose differently. But I do not apologize for making the choice with the information I had at the time. You were not there. You did not see her resolve, Falek. That woman is evil. She would have killed Ayleth out of spite, just to keep her from me. Every step I took, every word that passed my lips was done to keep her safe."
"Safe?" Falek shook his head. "For a married man, you have much to learn about the female heart."
Etan clenched his teeth but swallowed back his pride. "Then tell me," he said quietly.
Falek finally looked at him, his bright eyes dark with anger and pain. "For her—for any woman—
safety cannot only be measured in the wellbeing of her body. Safety isn’t defined only by a lack of bruises and bleeding."
"Perhaps not, but a heartbeat is required," Etan said through his teeth.
Falek’s expression didn’t change. "No woman will thank you for sustaining a heart beating blood saturated in pain and betrayal," he snapped. "You were so busy with your little deception, you didn’t stop to see the havoc you wreaked on her heart."
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"You have no idea what I saw, what I felt!"
Ayleth stirred in his arms, and Etan held her close, neither of them speaking again until her breathing returned to the low, even rhythm of sleep.
Then Etan looked back up at Falek, scowling. "You think there was no pain for me, doing that to her? You think I don’t understand what it put her through?"
"I know you don’t because if you’d seen it, you wouldn’t have continued with the charade."
"Her heartbreak was sickening to me but necessary to save her life!"
"And yet, here we are..."
Etan narrowed his eyes. "I couldn’t have known that. You were the one who warned me that she underestimated the ruthlessness of her parents. You were the one who told me that they presented the biggest threat!"
"I also made you vow to me that you would never leave her. It seems you’re very selective about which pieces of my advice and caution you heed."
"I am not! It was only ever going to be a matter of days, two or three weeks at the most!"
"And what is it that you think would have happened if I hadn’t let her come after you, Etan? What did you think you were leaving her to, back at the castle, neither of us aware of your plan? Did you think she would simply accept your rejection and... what? Take a nap for two weeks?"
"No! I thought you both knew me enough to know that I wouldn’t make a choice like that without good reason and purpose and that you would trust for a short time that I was returning and would explain!"
Falek’s brows pressed in over his nose and he shook his head. "You really did?"
"Yes! That is what I would have done—if Ayleth had suddenly turned and taken Andeluve without a word, I would have known something was happening and I would have waited to see what it was!"
"I think you over-estimate your own appetite for humiliation and confusion, but even were that so... know that she is not that heart, Etan. She has been lied to and kidnapped, underestimated, and deceived too many times in her life. She has seen how the Court abuse even their own, and she has become a master of hiding both her own fear and her grief when someone reveals their true nature. But you... you were too much for her. She was not equipped to be broken by you."
"And I was not equipped to lose her because of my own decisions. Do you understand, Falek? I faced losing her heart or losing her—utterly. I don’t expect you to believe me, but I know it for truth. The Father of Lights made it clear to my heart: Her mother will kill her to keep her from my hands. Whether you believe that or not I cannot affect, but I know it for truth. And if I were in that situation then, with the information I had, I would do it again the same. I know I would."
"And you want me to be comforted by that?"
"No! I have learned through this. I will give you both warning if there’s another... conflict of this kind. But I couldn’t see it that way when it was happening. My heart was for her safety, that was all! It killed me to do that to her—I was not unaffected, even knowing how short the time would be. But worse, I had to be the vehicle by which her pain arrived. I had to be the reason she was broken. I carried that for those days and since... gah! You have no clue how that felt! I was sick with it!"
Falek stared at him for a long moment, then turned away, frowning at the ground in front of him, the muscles at the back of his jaw flexing.
"It might be that I do," he said gruffly.
Etan waited, holding his breath.
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