213 On the Way to War – Part ~ ELRETH ~

They’d closed ranks around her as they passed through that ravine, the guards holding shields overhead just in case snipers had been placed in the trees or on the cliffs above.

Just in case.

It was a phrase that, Elreth could see, had turned them inside out in the past week or two. And one that was coming between her and her mate now.

She sighed to herself.

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Aaryn walked at her right, but slightly behind, his silence tense and pointed. Gar strode along at her left, his eyes vacant and distant, his face tense. This was weighing more heavily on him than he admitted.

Elreth had already assured him more than once that she understood why he’d tried to break Zev free. She hated it, but she understood. That’s what had become clear to her in the past day—that those around her acted in the best interests of everyone, including her. And it was time she pulled up her big girl pants and did the same.

She’d warned him never to tell anyone what he’d done, but that as long as he kept it a secret, she’d never punish him for it either.

She’d thought he might be a little more grateful, but her brother was exhausted. He’d clearly not been sleeping. With his mate away, that wasn’t a surprise.

.....

Which immediately made her think of her own mate, less than an arm’s length away, and yet he felt like he stood on the other side of the valley.

Here she was walking into peace talks, but feeling as if she walked into war.

But this wasn’t like the last war where she’d been the one to stay and stand, to make decisions and lead by heart.

No.

She was walking to face down an enemy, toe-to-toe.

Elreth had never thought she was a fearful person. Had never seen her femaleness as a reason to submit. But now… now as she walked to face a male that even Tarkyn watched warily, her stomach fluttered with more than fear.

She was terrified.

She put a hand to her belly to try and settle it—and her mind bloomed with the image, warm and thrilling—of her mate kissing her there in the early hours of that morning.

They’d both woken early, and Aaryn had loved her well, painting her entire skin with lips and tongue, making her shudder and beg before he took her.

But then, afterward, when they lay in each other’s arms, he’d started talking. Stroking gentle fingers through her hair, his lips brushing her forehead because she was laying on his shoulder, he started saying all the things that didn’t help. That only increased her fear.

Gar was War Chief, and a Captain of sorts with Tarkyn gone. The point was, he was a warrior. A fighter. And he held a presence. He could walk forward in this to carry the Anima.

Aaryn himself could shift now. If these talks dissolved into war, he was better placed than Elreth to take down a Chimeran male.

And they had the might of the soldiers and protectors behind them. Elreth had only brought three hundred bodies with her, but two hundred and fifty of them were trained fighters and guards, scouts and trackers.

She should let them handle it.

She’d tensed in her mates arms and not looked up to meet his eyes, because she knew.

“I made this mess… I have to fix it. It won’t be worth anything unless it comes from me.”

But Aaryn’s tone switched immediately from patient advisor, to terrified mate.

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“Tell them you’re pregnant, El.”

“No. It only makes me more vulnerable in their eyes—and gives them leverage. We can’t let them know.”

“But—”

“Aaryn, don’t you remember when my dad talked about the wolves taking mom when she was pregnant with me? They tried to cut me out—to kill me—because they knew it would hurt them more. We can’t give them that kind of ammunition. You know I’m right.”

Elreth had shivered a little herself. She didn’t remember the altercation, obviously. But she’d heard the story more than once.

It was the only time she’d ever seen her fierce, confident father visibly pale from a memory.

It had always been an unsettling story—a moral lesson for taking care who you trusted with information. But Elreth understood it even better now. She was desperately aware of her vulnerability—and she understood Aaryn’s fear as a result of it. She shared it.

But she had to stop letting fear rule her. She knew that. He did too. He just didn’t want to accept it.

That morning, in the near-dark of the cave at dawn, Aaryn had pushed up on his elbow and leaned over her, his eyes fierce and locked on hers.

“Promise me you’ll run if he comes for you,” he’d hissed. “Promise me, El.”

“I can’t run. But I will do everything I can to keep myself safe.”

“And our baby, El. OUR baby—it’s OURS.”

She nodded, reaching for his face, trying to get him to see. “I know. I know, Aaryn. I’m not going to look for trouble. I promise. I will do anything in my power to make certain I’m not—we’re not—in harm’s way.”

Aaryn had growled and shaken his head, because they both knew, Elreth’s best might not be enough.

Aaryn had gotten more and more aggravated—more pushy, more angry—the longer she refused to promise to flee.

_{𝑓r𝘦𝘦𝘄eb𝒏𝙤vel.c𝙤𝙢}

“If I run, the Anima run—where does that leave us against an aggressive foe?”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about the foe—leave them to me and Gar and the soldiers. I’m talking about you, El!”

“I am the Anima, Aaryn,” she’d said firmly. “I won’t put myself in a fight. I won’t seek it, and I’ll avoid it if I can. But I cannot just… run with my tail between my legs. You know I can’t.”

Aaryn had bared his teeth and Elreth had been shocked. He was so rarely angry—and even when he did burn, it was usually a quiet, controlled kind of rage. To see him shake with it, to show her posture and signals was so strange, it almost shook her loose and made her rethink.

But then word had arrived. Lerrin had gotten a message out. There was dissension among the Chimeran ranks. Concerns about Zev’s balance in this.

The people wanted peace. Only Zev was the true barrier.

Elreth had been even more certain then. She could show no vulnerability except that required for remorse.

They couldn’t know. No one could.

And Aaryn had spat a curse and stormed ahead of her out of the cave. It had broken Elreth’s heart that on this morning when they faced such risk, he’d been so quiet. So aloof. But they’d never had another chance to be alone.

She had to pray that when all was said and done, that she’d be proven correct. And that he’d forgive her if she wasn’t.

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